Booed on stage: Lessons in Confidence and Courage
I want to share a personal story with you today, one that reminds me of how important it is to rise back up after failure and the lessons we can learn when things don’t go as planned.
About 30 years ago, when I was studying for a degree in theatre and performance at drama school, I found myself presenting a show with a friend of mine. It was actually her show, and I was helping her out. I said yes because I wanted to support her, and although I was confident getting on stage as an actor, being a compère and presenting as myself was way out of my comfort zone. I wasn’t confident in it, but I went ahead because I wanted to help and thought why not?
The nature of compèring requires a lot of presence, being fully in tune with the audience, and here I was, like a possum in headlights. Sometimes when we step out of our comfort zone, it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. In this case, it really didn’t.
I found myself saying things that felt completely out of character, I wasn’t being true to myself and instead looked awkward, trying to be something I wasn’t. Naturally, the audience didn’t respond well. At one point, I made a stupid comment that wasn’t something I would normally say—and I got booed.
I wanted the stage to swallow me up but stayed with it, and my friend continued, stepping in to speak, whilst I managed to mumble a few other words and carry on. I didn’t walk off the stage, but felt that I'd completely failed myself, my friend and the audience. In fact, the head of acting called me in after and said, “What were you doing? That was rubbish!” Which, of course, I knew.
In my mid-twenties, I was hard on myself, and spent a lot of time picking apart everything that went wrong to try and get better. That experience put me off presenting for a while. But a couple of years later, I found myself presenting again, and this time, it felt aligned, joyful, and natural.
As excruciating as that experience was, it taught me some of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned, and it didn’t stop me from going on to have many successes, including winning an award for acting that same year. This failure didn't have to define my future performances, and it doesn’t have to define yours either.
Here’s what I learned:
- Preparation is key.
Know your material and be grounded in it. This way, you can trust it’s there when you need it. It allows you to be present and responsive to what happens on the day, keeping things alive and real. It’s not about memorising every word but being clear about what you want to say and why.
- Be clear on your intention.
When you go out there, how do you want the audience to feel? How do you want to feel? Whether your goal is to entertain, inspire, or create an impact, be crystal clear on your intention before stepping into the moment.
- Be true to yourself.
When you’re not in character, being yourself is essential. You can certainly present as a heightened version of who you are or even play a character, but be clear about that choice. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t let ego or fear take over. Stay connected to who you are, and your voice will resonate authentically—and that’s what people connect with most.
- Connect with your audience.
When you’re presenting, connect with your audience. Be present with them, relaxed enough, and adaptable enough to respond in a way that feels true to you and in alignment with your values and your intention for the event.
- Failure doesn’t define you.
Remember, failure doesn’t define you. It’s how you rise afterwards that matters most.
These are some of the lessons I’ve carried with me and woven into the Embody Voice Confidence program. If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to join us. We’re building a small, supportive group where you can explore these themes together, and there are only 3 spaces left.
The program starts on October 28th and the first live call is on Friday 1st Nov at 9.30am AEDT and it’s designed to give you the confidence and tools to find your voice, even when things don’t go as planned!
Fear of failure is part of the journey. If we're stretching our comfort zones then we've likely felt like a failure at some point and being in a supportive community is what helps us all to rise together and see failure as a necessary path to growth and expansion.
What matters is how we move forward and use the gifts of those lessons to create a path that brings us joy and genuine fulfilment along the way.
Last 3 spaces left for The Embody Voice Confidence Immersion. Is one of those yours or perhaps someone you know who would be a great fit for this group? All the details are here https://nickywest.com/voice-confidence-program
